Pieces of You
by Ceredwen
Summary: Sirius escorts Hermione back to England at Harry's request. NC17. Written for the Valentine's Day True Love Challenge over at the lj community hermionesirius.
1. How It All Got Started

This was written for the lj community hermionesirius and the Valentine's Day True Love Challenge. The lyrics I chose were Letter to Hermione by David Bowie and my prompts were numerous.

None of the HP characters are mine and I'm not making a dime. (weeps)

_How it all started…_

Enjoying the quiet of her evening, Hermione drank her tea while adding the finishing touches to the report she had been working on. It was one of a series of reports she had been compiling during her research abroad. This was the last country and the last report before she could return home. She looked forward to returning to England with all she had learned about the way that other cultures treated their magical creatures. Magical Britain was locked in the Dark Ages and she was determined to bring her beloved country into the light.

A soft tapping on the window caused her to pause her quill in mid sentence. She lay it down and went to the window, pulling it wide to let in Hedwig, Harry's pet owl.

"Hey there, Hedwig. Got something from Harry for me?"

The owl hooted softly and took the treat Hermione offered.

"Fancy a kip before you return, long flight after all."

The owl hooted again and took a perch next to Hermione's own Great Horned owl, Wickstipple.

After settling Harry's pet, Hermione returned to her tiny desk and broke the wax seal so she could unfurl the parchment.

_Dear Hermione,___

_I hope this letter finds you well. I was so happy to hear that your work in New Guinea is wrapping up. Am I correct in thinking that this is the last country you will be working in?___

_I can't believe it has been three years since we've seen you! You simply won't believe how big James has gotten! Once you're home consider your Sunday afternoons taken. It's something Ginny and I are trying and it seems to be working. Everyone that can make it comes over and we've somehow managed to get Sirius to come too.___

_I'm so worried about him Hermione. We thought that things would get better after he started seeing Charity Fairfax, and they did for awhile but Ginny was in her boutique the other day and is convinced she heard her in a dressing stall with another man. We don't think Sirius knows yet but if Charity is being that careless it won't take long for him to figure it out. ___

_You know Kingsley granted him a full pardon until the investigation is complete but even though he is free to come and go as he pleases, he rarely does so unless Charity is with him.___

_Sirius was staying most nights at her place but he's back at Grimmauld Place a lot now. We suspect things are going sour between he and Charity and to be honest, Grimmauld Place just isn't good for him.___

_I have a favor to ask, Hermione. When you come home will you spend a little extra time with Sirius? Maybe you will be a better influence on him than we have been. Maybe what he needs is a firm hand._

Hermione blinked, read the last sentence again and then shook her head mirthfully and laughed, quite tickled by Harry's statement.

_I know I'm grasping at straws here but I am pleading with you, as your best friend, to do me this favor.___

_Can't wait to see you home.___

_All my best,___

_Harry_

Hermione frowned and rolled up the letter and then tucked it into a bundle in her desk for safe keeping.

Selecting a piece of fresh parchment she penned a return note to Harry.

_Dear Harry,___

_I am well thanks, but I was sorry to hear the worried tone of your last letter. I will be leaving here in one weeks time. I have an office at the consulate and I need help packing and transporting my things. I will send Sirius a letter and request his help, saying it was your suggestion.___

_I can't wait to see James and Ginny and will consider my Sunday afternoons busy from here on out.___

_As for your request, I think I can set our differences aside in the hope that a little platonic female friendship will do him some good. I laughed when you mentioned he might need a firm hand. I was reminded of trying to get you and Ron to do your homework.___

_Sirius is quite a handful, even more since his retrieval by the sound of it. It will be interesting to see him again. My last memory of him is in Grimmauld Place that Christmas in our fifth year. Did you know he was really worried about you and wrote to me himself, asking me to come and help you if I could? That is why I cut my holiday with my parents short. I guess I will be doing the same thing once again, only for him this time.___

_I remember that he got Molly to tame his hair and give it a little trim. He held it back in a pony tail and I couldn't help think how handsome he was. I think I developed a little crush on him that winter.___

_So, I'll see you soon and we'll see what I can make of Sirius.___

_Try not to worry so much,___

_Hermione_

Hermione set her quill aside and rolled the parchment, sealing it with red wax that bore the imprint of her initials. Setting it aside to send off with Hedwig in the morning, she picked her quill up once more and wrote a second letter, this one to Sirius.

~o~

The soft scuffing of boots meeting the ground, the shuffling of pant legs sliding in opposition and the dry whispering of his leather cloak were all the sounds Sirius could hear as he walked along Diagon Alley. The late afternoon sun partially blinded him as he made his way down the ancient lane, the brisk autumn breeze rudely nipped at the exposed skin along his face and neck. Most shops had closed for the day; it was Sunday and the proprietors had gone home to spend time with their families.

Only one shop closed this late on Sunday in the hope that a witch out there somewhere would need its help in tempting a wizard her way. The owner of the shop, Charity Fairfax, understood that the average witch probably didn't want the prying eyes of the close knit Wizarding community spying as she purposefully entered a shop to buy clothes that served only one purpose. Much of her weekly business happened on Sunday after three in the afternoon.

The shop's location, a few doors up from the corner of Diagon and Knockturn, was located well away from the more 'family friendly' establishments. The closer you got to Knockturn, the more likely your baser needs were being solicited.

It was when Sirius was at the midway point between the Leakey Cauldron and Knockturn Alley that he saw the door to Charity's shop open. A couple was attempting to make their way out but they were so wrapped up in each other that they weren't paying enough attention. But then that didn't really seem to be the point. The woman, an attractive but older blond, broke away first, lifting a hand to stroke the youngish looking wizard's face. Mid twenties, maybe? Younger than she most certainly. Sensing that her eyes were about to shift down the lane, he flattened himself into a doorway, not wanting to get caught. No sense in ruining things over an event he couldn't seem to care about.

Keenly listening for the sound of the shop door closing, he lit a fag to kill some time, put some distance between himself and her whelp, not wanting to raise her suspicion. If she caught him catching her with other men, or in this case boys, he thought wryly, they would have to discuss it and put to words things that were uncomfortable and unconventional. He realized that he should care, that it would be normal for him to care, that his friends and therefore family would be furious if they knew but the truth is, he really didn't.

He had spent enough time alone with his thoughts to learn that he preferred himself in company that was mixed. This thing with Charity wasn't about love, it was about not being alone. It was a warm body to hold in the night and fuck when he felt like it.

Holding the fag between his thumb and middle finger he took a last drag before flicking it away, exhaling as he emerged from his doorway hideout. The sun was older and lower, a dusky orange that cast long, falsely romantic shadows. Just before reaching his destination, a sharp crack startled him as a young witch Apparated into his view. She was surprised to see anyone along the lane this late and even more surprised when Sirius followed her into Charity's boutique, her cheeks pinking slightly with an embarrassed flush.

Charity greeted Sirius with a flick of her eyes to his and a slight smile before approaching the shy young witch who had glanced back at him nervously.

"Don't you worry about 'ol Sirius there, he's here for me," and then Charity whispered something into the witch's ear that made her giggle.

Sirius could guess what caused the giggle and a slight smirk touched his handsome features as he settled heavily into a captain's chair to wait. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back and listened as soft feminine murmurs of conversation floated from across the store as Charity helped the witch make her selection. The sound of the lock clicking on the door roused him, realizing he must have dozed off.

"Handsome," said Charity, sliding her thighs along the outside of his as she pressed her thin, wiry body against his, joining him in his chair. He had grown accustomed to the slightly unyielding feel of her body, hard from having worked all her life.

"Char," he greeted in return, smiling at the woman who, like he himself, had once been a true beauty. Time showed in her face, around her eyes and mouth and the weathering of her skin, not that she didn't try to deny it, dressing just a touch too young and flirty for a woman her age, a few years older than he himself.

When she leaned in to kiss him, just before her lips touched his, he wondered briefly if she still tasted of boy. He rather hoped not.

"Will you be ready to go soon?" he asked when she broke away.

"I can't make it this time," she said and stiffened slightly. He suspected she was lying as he had always been pretty good at reading people. "Marie is having trouble with her husband again and I promised to visit with her tonight. Next Sunday, though, for sure."

Sirius smiled. He really didn't care but he wished she didn't lie. "I'd better get going then. Ginny is not very forgiving when I'm late."

~o~

When Sirius retired to his room many hours later, full of Ginny's delicious pot roast but weary from having to pretend he was doing fine, he heard a soft tap tapping on his bedroom window. A large, unfamiliar Great Horned owl waited to be let in so it could deliver its post.

Sirius reached into the bowl of owl treats he kept by the large bay window and thanked the bird. The owl offered a business like hoot and flew back out the way it came.

He examined the red wax seal on the parchment and wondered who HG was. Did he know an HG? He couldn't remember. When he broke the seal and unfurled the letter, he felt a bit foolish for not thinking of the young girl who had kept him out of the hands of the Dementors.

_Dear Sirius,___

_First let me apologize for this being the first correspondence you've had with me since your miraculous retrieval. I've been so busy with my work that I barely have time for the scant letters to Harry and Ron.___

_Harry's letters to me are filled with news about you and I am really looking forward to getting reacquainted. You mean a great deal to a lot of people, myself included.___

_I hope my letter finds you well and in good health. I fear, however, that my writing to you is not entirely altruistic.___

_I will begin my return trip to England in one week and need to begin packing up my office and getting it ready for transport. I spoke with Harry about my need for assistance and he suggested I ask you.___

_I realize it is short notice but I was wondering if you have the time to give me a hand? There is too much to transport my things magically so I will require a traveling companion as well. I truly hate to play the damsel in distress but by the same token I am a little nervous about the trip home.___

_I hope you will agree to join me. I feel like everyone has gotten a chance to experience you but me. I think it could be fun!___

_The trip involves a short boat ride from my location here in New Guinea to Australia where we pick up a transport ship specializing in catering to witches and wizards. From there we sail to India where I have one last contact to meet with but don't worry, the research is all done. I just need to have a conversation with a colleague and get some documentation from him. From there we catch a train, also catering to witches and wizards, which will deposit us in France. From there we catch a ferry and then another train at King's Cross (I believe you know the one) to Hogsmeade so I can get my trunks home.___

_Please say you will do me this special favor. I promise fun and interesting sights along the way.___

_Your good friend,___

_Hermione__  
_

"New Guinea," he mused out loud. Not that there was a question about his going. He was in her debt and didn't fancy her traveling the wide world unescorted anymore than she did. His mind drifted momentarily to the bossy, swotty young woman who, for all her annoying traits, had a big heart and had put her life on the line for his godson many times over.

"Harry," he said softly, guilt stealing into his heart over the worried glances exchanged between Remus and Harry. Sirius knew he was a lousy actor and despite his efforts at appearing that all was well, his family and friends knew better.

"Maybe this is just what I need," he murmured to himself.

A quietly cleared throat at his open door drew his attention to Remus, standing casually but looking worried.

"What is it you need?" asked Remus, entering the dimly lit room.

"A little adventure and an opportunity to play my hand at being the dashing hero," said Sirius playfully, gesturing to a heavily cushioned chair.

"I can't imagine Char taking a vacation from the shop and she hardly fits the role of 'damsel in distress,'" said Remus, taking the offered seat and the old fashioned tumbler of firewhiskey.

Sirius frowned slightly and considered whether or not to tell Remus about Charity and the near child he had caught her with. Something about it stung, not horribly but enough, and he was loath to admit that it was a situation he would accept because he didn't think he deserved much better, that he was lucky to get the small slice of life Charity was willing to share with him.

"No, Char is more than capable of doing what is right for her. She needs no hero, or at least not me in that role." Sirius took a long draft from his own glass, the liquid serving to both clarify and muddle his mind.

Remus raised a careful eyebrow at Sirius but instead of answering the unspoken question, Sirius answered the initial query that Remus had put to words.

"Hermione is coming home and has asked me to serve as escort for her."

"That's right. Harry mentioned something about that tonight," replied Remus. "So you're going then?"

Sirius gave a soft grunt in agreement. "I owe her that much at least."

"I doubt very much that she looks at it like that." Remus paused. "You will make every effort at getting along with her won't you?"

"It'll be fine," assured Sirius. "She's not fifteen anymore after all."

"When do you leave?" asked Remus, seeming to be satisfied with Sirius' answer.

"Couple of days. It's a shame that the floo network isn't connected to the estate in Dharma or I could've made the trip a bit easier for her." He took a sip of his whiskey, curling his lips back at the strong taste. "Will she need a place to stay? Should I offer her a room here?"

"No, she keeps a cottage in Hogsmeade." Remus finished off the last swallow. "I think maybe getting away from here would do you a lot of good. I wonder how Charity will feel about you escorting a pretty young witch from half-way across the world?"

Remus' tone was teasing however Sirius' answer was not. "I don't really give a damn what Charity thinks."

His answer was impulsively spoken and from the heart. He realized in that moment that it really did bother him. No matter how much he lied to himself and said that this was all he could hope for - an older woman who was past her prime and didn't think well enough of him to stay faithful. He still wanted more, better, something real.

"Sirius?" asked Remus cautiously.

"Just forget about it. I think you're right. I need to get away from this house for awhile." Sirius sighed heavily. "Think I'll call it a night, Moon."

Sirius could see the concern etched in Remus' face but the werewolf didn't push or pry for more information. He just nodded and offered his 'good night' and let Sirius keep his secrets.

~o~

Pushing his spectacles up along the bridge of his nose, Harry read the short return reply from Hermione.

_Dear Harry,___

_I don't have time for more than a quick note. Just wanted you know that Sirius has agreed. I sent him a letter with details on how to get here and am expecting his arrival in two days time. I planned out a ridiculously long expedition home in the hope that it would give me a little more time in his company. Maybe we'll even strike up a friendship. Wish me luck.___

_Your friend,___

_Hermione_

Harry let out a long, hopeful breath.

"Who's that from?" asked Ginny curiously before setting a cup of tea in front of him.

"I don't know how she did it, but Hermione got Sirius to agree to travel home with her as escort."

"She's good at setting people straight, Harry," soothed Ginny. "I bet you see a real difference in him when he gets back with her."

Harry gave her a small smile and nodded. He was hopeful but only because hope was all he had left.


	2. The Journey

_The journey_…

Standing in the doorway to her office, letter in hand was a man who was little more than a memory to Hermione. Still wearing his hair long, the sleek black pony tail draped over his shoulder and reached nearly to his elbows. Sirius smiled cautiously at her like he wasn't quite sure he was in the right office.

_Goodness, he is even more handsome than I remember._

Hermione smiled brightly in warm welcome. "You made it! Thank you so much for coming!"

Sirius took a step into her office, out of the doorway's shadow and that was when she noticed that he looked weary somehow. His gaze lacked spark and spoke of defeat, like he was both tired and tired of trying.

"Not at all, I'm happy to help," he replied. "Looks like you've got most of the packing already done." He looked around at the bare office that was occupied by five large steamer trunks with the lids cocked open. "Couldn't you just put all this in one bottomless trunk?"

"I've been in a dozen different countries at least in the last three years, been in close contact with their magical communities and have collected a variety of magical artifacts and some of them don't like to be in contact with some of the others." Hermione spoke matter of factly but she had a slightly sheepish look on her face.

"Miss Granger!" said Sirius with mock shock. "Please tell me you aren't transporting anything Dark or dangerous."

"Dark, no and I prefer the word interesting to dangerous," she replied with a smirking grin.

"You would have made a fine Marauder, Hermione!" Sirius cracked a genuine smile and the transformative affect it had on him was enough to steal her breath. Handsome wasn't enough of a word to describe Sirius' chiseled good looks, made even more distinguished by the tempering affect of age.

Momentarily star struck, Hermione waved him into her office allowing the motion to give her time to recover the use of English. Taking the cautious liberty of a surreptitious glance, Hermione tried to gauge if Sirius had noticed her flustered reaction.

He had taken a few more steps into her office and was peering into one of the trunks. If he had noticed anything unusual from her, he gave no indication. "You've also added to your personal library." His tone carried an edge of understanding, like he just remembered something and it made sense to him.

"I've always been fond of books," she acknowledged, comfortably composed after her brief moment of stress. Her steps took her to his side and laid a gentle hand on his arm to gain his attention.

"I'm glad you came, Sirius. It means a lot that you would do this for me." In a sincere gesture of greeting a long lost friend, Hermione wrapped an arm around him in a companionable way. She felt him stiffen and wondered if this distressed his aristocratic sensibilities, but he relaxed after only a small moment and returned the gesture.

She hoped he understood that she was grateful not only for his presence in New Guinea, but in the world as well.

"So," she said in a business like tone, releasing him with a sincere smile." You've had a long journey and are probably tired. Let's get these trunks closed and sealed. I think a simple Locking Charm will do the trick. A porter will be arriving in about an hour to collect them. We'll go back to my hotel and you'll take a nap and then later we'll have an early dinner before our boat ride to the Australian mainland."

Hermione was puzzled by the expression he had adopted at first but his murmured, "mmm, hmm," caused his lips to twitch in a suspiciously amused way.

"What?"

"Oh," said Sirius with a soft, quiet laugh. "I was just remembering what a bossy little thing you were."

Lifting his wand he began closing and sealing the trunks. Despite the glare she was sure must be burning a hole in his backside, Sirius never turned to look at her.

~0~

Dinner offered Hermione her first real opportunity to talk with Sirius since he had arrived. She was uncertain what her task actually entailed, all she knew from Harry's letters was that Sirius was not himself since being pulled out of the Veil. The man who was tortured from living more than a decade in close proximity to Dementors was further traumatized by his experience with death. Once quick to tease and possessing a quick temper, he had become something of a recluse who didn't show any real signs of embracing his second chance.

There was something about his demeanor that suggested he might be a difficult person to get to know if he wasn't inclined to open himself up. She realized that without the close contact and forced time in his company afforded her by the trip home she would likely face the same difficulties in drawing him out that everyone else had experienced.

"So where all have your travels taken you?" asked Sirius of his quiet companion.

Hermione smiled in appreciation for his effort. This was the right course, she realized, start with the small stuff and build a rapport.

"Lets see...I started in America because they have some of the most progressive laws. Did you know that the further West you travel, the less importance is placed on blood status. In New York it was pretty stifling but in Los Angeles no one gave a wit who your family was."

"Sounds nice," he mused, and then joked. "Maybe I'll relocate. I'd love to go somewhere that nobody knew my name or that I was a Black just by looking at me."

Hermione sensed that there was more truth in his statement then he wanted her to believe.

"You'd leave Britain?" she scoffed, keeping it light so as not to make her quarry run to ground.

"Done it once before," he said lightly. "Seeing new places was part of the charm of staying on the run."

"That's been my favorite part of all this research," agreed Hermione. "I've been to Nigeria, Chile, Lebanon, Israel, Australia, Kenya, Pakistan, China, Argentina, Brazil, Japan and of course America and New Guinea. I've had a wonderful time but I've found what I was looking for and now it's time to go home and put what I've learned to work."

"And you've been on your own all this time?" he asked between bites of his broiled salmon.

"You know, I'm not sixteen anymore, Sirius," she said briskly, before taking a sip of her Cabernet.

"No," he replied softly. "No, I can _see_ that."

The subtle reply was significant for Hermione because somehow, in his quiet response, there was a reminder of the fact that he was a man and she was a woman and that he at least, was aware of this. Their roles to play no longer involved an adult and a child.

She glanced quickly at him to see a slight smirk playing at his lips. It was a delicious sight, an utterly sinful smile, like he was remembering something he shouldn't repeat in her company. The look he was giving her wasn't quite lecherous but it certainly wasn't chaste.

Remembering that she needed to keep the upper hand between them, that she needed to be in control, she decided to remark on it.

"That's an interesting look you're giving me, Black." She kept her tone playful but her intent was to put him on the spot all the same.

Startled at being caught and even more at being called on it, Sirius adopted a blank look before breaking into another one of those blinding, transformative smiles.

"Busted," he said with a teeth flashing grin. "Pretty witches have always been a weakness. Don't worry though, I'm on my best behavior."

"That I'll have to see," she said smugly.

"What?" he asked, confused by her meaning.

"You and good behavior in the same room," she said, attempting a serious tone but failed with a faltering laugh on the last word.

"Touche'," said Sirius, and lifted his wine glass in her honor.

~o~

The Australian coastline faded into the distance, the lights twinkling like tiny diamonds that got smaller and smaller as the massive sailing schooner headed into open water. Sirius was proving to be an excellent traveling companion and Hermione found that she really enjoyed his company. At the moment he was supervising the placement of her trunks in the cargo area which saved her from having to deal with a particular wizard that looked at her like she was a steak dinner. Thankfully Sirius didn't appreciate the creepy wizard anymore than she did and had stepped in quickly and firmly.

Hearing quiet footsteps behind her, Hermione turned to see Sirius approaching her on the deck. As he neared, the silver light of the full moon illuminated his face and she was once again reminded of their change in status and it made her feel vulnerable. The waves crashing against the hull whispered seductively to her as she waited on the warm and breezy deck. Liberated from a messy bun, an unruly, wavy tendril broke free, momentarily obscuring her view of him. When he was close enough he reached out with his rough fingers, caressing her youthful cheek as he cleared her vision. Unconsciously she moved into the gesture, forcing him to cup her face.

"Are you alright? You seemed pretty rattled," he said gently.

"Guess I'm just not used to being viewed like prey," she replied. "Hazard of spending most of your life in various libraries doing research."

Sirius smiled. "Maybe you just never noticed before."

At her puzzled look Sirius opened his mouth, closed it and then let out a sigh. "You're a lovely young woman, Hermione. It isn't possible that you haven't been noticed before."

Hermione blushed and looked away, but was saved from having to respond by the deafening blast of a loud horn. Several tall masts sprung out of the ship, sails unfurling.

"We'd better get below deck," said Hermione. "The ship is about to dive."

Sirius nodded and escorted her to the portal door, guiding her gently with his hand pressed at the small of her back.

~0~

The meeting with her colleague in India had gone smoothly and without any difficulties. An afternoon spent navigating the noisy marketplace in the bustling city of Bombay, gave way eventually to a quiet, first class, air-conditioned sleeper unit. It amused her to discover that 'platform nine and three quarters' was an international standard across the magical community.

Sirius upgraded them in Victoria Station from the sleeper class which was all she could afford on what was left of her research grant. He tried very hard to get them separate quarters but they wouldn't be able to attain such luxurious accommodations until they reached Asia proper. Once there, the magically laid tracks passed under the Ural Mountains into Northern Europe. The India portion alone was a very long journey and the idea of sharing sleeping room with Hermione seemed to disturb Sirius greatly.

Hermione was quietly settling a few things in order to make the journey more palatable, setting out a few books and such and nestling cozily into her bunk, situated across from his, which was currently adjusted for sitting, not sleeping. Sirius was once again seeing to the stowage of her trunks and had been absent from her side for about twenty minutes.

"Hello, again," he said quietly as he entered. Hermione noticed that the strained look hadn't left him yet and wondered why bunking platonically with her was causing him such a bother.

"I promise I don't snore," she blurted out without meaning to. His brow furrowed for a moment and then relaxed but his lips pursed like he was considering how to say something.

"That's not it, Hermione," he said, gathering his trousers slightly before sitting. He let out a long ragged sigh like he was giving something very careful consideration before speaking.

A knock at their unit door stole their attention away from the mounting tension of a difficult moment. Hermione raised a finger, asking for a pause and moved to the door and opened it.

"Hermione? Hermione Granger?" said a young female voice. Hermione blinked a few times until she recognized the dark haired woman from her school days.

"Romilda, how…" Hermione gave the smallest of all pauses. "…nice to see you."

"I thought that was you!" Romilda smiled warmly. "Listen, you can't stay by yourself the whole journey. Even books need a breather, you know." Romilda had grown into an even lovelier woman than she had been as a child but something about her still annoyed Hermione.

The deep chuckle coming from within her own compartment was also a tad annoying.

"Oh," said Romilda, with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. "Oh, I see. Well, let's have a look at him then." And with that she pushed the door open a little. A soft gasp left her lips at seeing a face which had been in the papers a few years ago, shortly after his return.

Sirius stood up politely and smiled at the young dark haired witch.

"Sirius Black, Romilda Vane. Romilda, this is Harry's godfather Sirius. Sirius was kind enough to escort me home. I'm returning to England," explained Hermione, hoping to squash a rumor before it got started.

"Pleasure," said Sirius extending his hand. Romilda took it with a small smile.

"Nice to meet you, Sirius." Romilda took a little pause as he squeezed and released her hand. "Sirius, would you mind if I stole Hermione away for a little while? She has some friends on the train that would love to see her."

Hermione mounted a mental defense against this but didn't get it past her lips before Sirius answered for her. "Oh, certainly. I'm sure she's getting tired of an old man's company anyway."

"You're hardly old, Sirius," said Hermione immediately.

"Thanks, Sirius," said Romilda. "I won't keep her too long. If I know Hermione she has a stack of books that will be calling her away before we're ready to let her go."

Sirius chuckled warmly again and waved to a helpless and defeated looking Hermione as she was led away.

~o~

Sirius shuffled tiredly but with his hunger sated back to the first class unit he shared with Hermione. He released a soft, despairing sigh as he opened the door to the compartment and discovered that not only had she returned in his absence, but she was sound asleep. She didn't want to go off with her school mate and he hadn't done anything to stop it.

_Putting off the inevitable._

One way or another she was going to see that which he allowed very few to see. Separate cabins aboard the schooner and aboard the train had seemed like something he could easily attain.

He sat carefully on the edge of her bunk and lay and a gentle hand on her shoulder and tapped lightly.

"Hermione?" he said softly. "Wake up, pet."

"Mmffhh… Srriusss? Wha's the matter?" she asked drowsily.

"We have to talk for a minute. You can go back to sleep after," he said gently.

Hermione sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She stretched, catlike and gave him a concerned, sleepy smile.

"The reason I didn't want to share quarters," he said heavily, his tone low enough that she had to strain to hear. "Is because sometimes." Sirius shook his head like that wasn't what he meant to say at all. "At night… I have… nightmares." The last word was said with a note of disgust, like he considered it to be a weakness.

"Everyone has-"Hermione started to speak but Sirius put his hand up to still her voice.

"If I wake you, if you hear me, just go back to sleep. It'll run its course and I'll quiet down." Sirius got up and crossed to his bed and lay down. His back was turned, demonstrating physically that the discussion was over.

~o~

Hermione couldn't go back to sleep.

When Sirius began to shake and stir she tried, valiantly, to do as he had requested. When he looked at her with wide open, sightless eyes, an unuttered scream on his lips and his features twisted in tortured agony, her feet moved her to him without conscious effort on her part.

"Shhh…" she whispered, stroking his face softly with tender concern. When he blinked, a moment of anger crossed his face but she ignored it entirely. She joined him on the tiny bunk, pressed tightly to him and cooed a soothing jumble of nonsense to him. He hadn't the will to fight her and the comfort she offered was something he had never experienced. Not even from Charity.

He could feel his very soul quiet in her sure arms and snuggled childlike against her with a similar sort of selfishness.

"That's it," she said softly, a note of satisfaction in her voice. "You're safe, Sirius. Do you hear me? Safe."

Unwilling to risk speaking because he was unsure what to say, he just nodded and let her guide this, whatever this was.

"Go to sleep now, Sirius. I'm not going anywhere."

~o~

Sirius woke early and inhaled a soft and sweet scent, sort of flowery but not obnoxiously so. He remembered Hermione's charity from the night before and felt deeply conflicted. The gratitude he felt was undeniable but so was the irritation of not being allowed his privacy.

He noticed a dozen little things about her at once, starting with the little catlike wheeze she made as she slept. This was something he could tease her about later.

Her body, pressed warm against his was soft in a way he hadn't felt in a long time. Where Charity was somewhat unyielding, Hermione's curves were practically molded along the length of him. A little smile, somewhat secretive, tugged at her mouth and he wondered, and not for the first time on this trip, what her lips would feel like against his.

Not that he would ever be finding out. She was far too good for him but he allowed himself this little square of danger and enjoyed the experience of something forbidden in his arms.

Before laying his head back down to rest his eyes some more, he inhaled deeply of her scented hair, spread wild and untamed on their shared pillow.

~o~

An hour later Hermione stirred slightly, feeling warm, possessive arms tight around her middle. She had woken several times in the night, the unfamiliar feel of a man in bed with her somewhat pleasant and somewhat confusing. She could neatly catalogue her reaction to him as being entirely human and very female but once it was identified and dissected, she still had to deal with it.

She knew he wasn't asleep by his breathing and that was confusing as well. She expected him to avoid her after this or even fight with her. There was no thinking last night as she crossed to his bunk, only the compassion of one human for another.

Hermione turned with a slight shift of her body and turned her head toward him.

"I know you're not asleep," she said gently. "We should talk about this. This is why you've pulled away isn't it?" She could sense his shock in the slight stiffening of his body.

A small sound came from him, a little clearing of his throat before he spoke.

"Hermione, don't you think that we should, ah, disentangle ourselves before going straight for the heavy stuff?"

"Why? So you can practice avoidance of the topic and let things get weird until tonight when I crawl back into your bed to comfort you some more?" She shifted again so that now she was resting on her side so she could watch him stare at the ceiling.

"Well, I have a three rescue minimum before I divulge all my secrets," he said lightly, attempting at humor.

"We're only on this train for two nights," she said in mild protest.

"Exactly," he replied.

"What was it like?" she asked without elaboration.

Sirius let the silence stretch between them for a very long time, uncomfortably long before trying to answer.

"I never expected to go to heaven," he said quietly. "I guess that's what it was, _where_ I was."

Hermione sucked in a breath. He turned his head to her and smiled. "It's been a difficult adjustment, I suppose. I feel everything and nothing. I guess I haven't handled it too well. How much more was there to Harry's letters that you omitted?"

She dropped her eyes from his for a moment, telling the whole truth would be a bad idea she surmised.

"I really wasn't sure what he was talking about, to tell the truth," she said honestly. "You don't act like that around me. I've really enjoyed your company."

"I feel different around you," he whispered bravely, before turning away with his brow furrowed in something that looked like annoyance. "And that's as much secret divulging I can handle at this hour of the morning." He was up and out of the bed swiftly and had his hand on the door when he heard her voice again.

"Sirius?" she asked tremulously.

"Leave it, Hermione," he said roughly, before exiting their compartment.


	3. After Their Return

_After their return…_

Spending so many days with Hermione and her gentle compassion, Sirius' feelings had deepened into dangerous waters. It was nearly painful to be in her presence and not be able to express how he felt. Vibrant, beautiful and driven; she was worth far more than he and was something he knew he would never have.

It would be unacceptable for him not to show his face at Ginny and Harry's Sunday ritual at Grimmauld Place the following day, so he spent as much time as possible as Padfoot. The simple mind of a dog didn't experience the complicated emotion of passionate love and was an escape he needed.

Chasing James and Teddy around the backyard as a dog helped tremendously. The voices that whispered like knives in his soul were silenced along with his hopeless desire for a life with Hermione.

The squeals of delight from the boys were truly wonderful to hear. When he pounced on James as Padfoot and then turned back into Sirius to tickle him, Teddy came to James' defense, making a valiant attempt at tickling Sirius.

They were a jumbled pile of squealing, laughing, grunting grass stained boys; just boys, all of them.

Sirius was having so much fun that he didn't notice that the voices hadn't returned even though Padfoot wasn't there to protect him.

"Well, that doesn't look so bad," he heard from the patio where the adults were gathered. At that particular moment he didn't count himself among their number.

The voice was feminine and familiar, the most significant sound in his world, and it made him look up from the shoe he had just removed from Teddy's foot so he could tickle it.

The young woman who had acted as his lifeline on the train ride back to England had just arrived and joined Remus, Tonks, Harry and Ginny at the patio table.

For just a moment he allowed himself to be a man as he gazed on her youthful form, but the squirming boy who was trying to escape his clutches tugged at his attention.

Turning back to the foot, he growled playfully, and then laughed at the delighted, breathless laughter that resulted from tickled boy foot.

"I can't breathe," shrieked a giggling red-faced Teddy.

"Don't be silly," said Sirius, grinning. "If you couldn't breathe you wouldn't be able to tell me that you couldn't breathe."

Releasing the foot that he held, he made a grab for the other and relieved it of its shoe. James launched himself at Sirius, using his weight as a counter balance to topple the adult wizard over. Despite these efforts, Sirius did not lose his prize and a new peal of rushed, hysterical giggles erupted from Teddy.

"Uncle Sirius is rather ticklish under his arms," offered Remus, gaining a playful glower from his old friend.

"No fair telling my secrets, Moony," accused Sirius. "Goes against the code, you traitor!"

"Boys, time to wash up," called Ginny, motioning to Teddy and James.

The two small boys gave Sirius wide grins before departing for the house. Slowly, Sirius stood to his full height, muscles he had forgotten about groaning in their discomfort.

Standing on the patio, Hermione watched him and Sirius felt a pang in his heart over something he couldn't have. The freedom and exhilaration he had just experienced evaporated in the light of this realization, darkness settling into him once again.

For a moment he couldn't get any air, couldn't make his lungs perform their sole function and he panicked because he didn't know how he was going to make it through dinner.

"Sirius? Are you alright?" His angel of mercy took a few steps onto the freshly cut grass in his direction.

"Fine," he grunted and brushed past her brusquely, irritated and nearly angry at his hopeless situation.

"Sirius?" she asked again and he could hear the confusion in her voice.

"Just leave it, Hermione," he said, repeating his words from the train, before entering the house, slamming the door behind him.

~o~

"What the hell happened on that little trip, Hermione?" asked Harry, anguished and angry. "He's so much worse now!"

"I…I don't know what to say, Harry," she replied. "He actually opened up a little. I was getting through. Then we get home and…" she trailed off.

"You realize that because your letters were so promising we planned a party in his honor, here, tonight!" Harry beat his fist against the old oak table. "FUCK!"

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

~o~

The stars that twinkled gaily beyond the windows of the abandoned conservatory seemed to mock him with their apparent happiness, just as delighted as the house full of people if the softly thumping music was anything to go by. Well, he wasn't happy here and refused to pretend just to please them. No one understood, only Hermione had bothered to try and only the once. He was far too complicated for them to comprehend, too much tragedy and horror for them to wrap their pathetically happy minds around. It was all too little, too late. Releasing a sigh, he glared at the stars and how they dared him to reach for happiness too.

"Sirius?" An irritated feminine voice sounded on the other side of his self appointed prison.

"Go away, Hermione," he pleaded softly, checking his temper before speaking.

The door opened, her figure silhouetted against the soft light from the gas lamps that lined the fourth floor hallway. Refusing to acknowledge her, to accept that she wouldn't obey his command he kept his gaze on the stars, mutinously cursing them for sending the source of his trouble to check on him.

"Come downstairs." It wasn't a request or polite or any of the things he felt it certainly should be given that he was her elder.

"Just because we took a trip together doesn't mean I take my orders from you," he said gruffly, groaning when he heard the door close behind her, followed by quiet steps into the room.

"You're such a child," she said angrily. "I understand your pain but you have to try to move forward!"

He was off of the window ledge and to her before she could blink, shoved roughly against a wall as the breath left her body, knocking over the potted skeletons of long forgotten vegetation.

"Leave me be, you arrogant little bitch!" he hissed through his teeth.

"No," she whispered bravely, and he could see a slight show of fear in her eyes. He considered mocking her for questioning the wisdom of disturbing him and the phrase, 'let sleeping dogs lie' amused him for just a moment.

"Why not? Tell me what you hope to achieve with this encounter." He gave her a light shake and hoped she could see the desperation in his eyes.

"Harry needs you," she pleaded and the softness in her tone made his head spin a little. "Can't you see what this is doing to him? I know it's hard," she said quietly. "But your name is cleared, and that's your party going on downstairs. You have everything you ever wanted!"

"Not everything," he rasped desperately. How was he supposed to tell her that ever since that night on the train he imagines he sees his forever when he looks at her and the falsity of that hope is devouring his soul faster than a Dementor could ever hope to?

"What then?" she asked and for a moment he thought he saw determination in her eyes. Then her hand rose, tentatively, and he saw her swallow before cupping his scruffy, stubbled jaw with gentle fingers. "What is it you need to make it right, Sirius?"

"Something I will never have," he whispered before releasing her, utterly defeated, and returned to his seat by the window so he could curse the stars some more. He hoped that his drama would spur her to leave him be but the sound of retreating footfalls which he expected to hear were strangely absent.

"You are so ridiculous! You sound like you're Cinderella and its five minutes to midnight!" She followed him to the window standing just a foot behind him in the darkened room.

"I'm _who_?" he said, pulled momentarily out of his misery by her foreign accusation.

"Cinderella, she had a fairy godmother who turned her into a princess-"

Sirius interrupted, his voice laced with wry amusement. "Hermione, exactly _how_ do I remind you of a princess?"

"Because," and now he could hear a note of flustered frustration from her. "Cinderella turned back into a scullery maid at midnight."

"You think I'm gay don't you?" he grumbled, wondering how on earth he gave her _that_ impression.

"No! I mean, I don't know, I never really thought about it. That's not the point!" Hermione stamped her foot against the wood floor.

"Oh, good, so there is one?" He leaned his cheek on the cool glass of the window.

"You sound like your opportunities are all over." She lay her hand and on his arm, her gentle touch felt like fire in his veins. "They're not, you know."

"I'm in love," he blurted out, his sudden confession surprising them both. "And she doesn't know it."

Hermione gave his cheek a solemn kiss. "So go get her," she encouraged sweetly, giving his arm a gentle squeeze before turning to leave him with the stars and his window ledge.

~o~

"He didn't explain what happened, he simply commented in, what, in _passing_?" asked Hermione, sharing a booth at the Leakey Cauldron with Harry and Remus.

Harry nodded and swallowed his food. "I asked him if Charity would be joining us this Sunday. She hasn't come around, well, since right before you came back."

Remus' eyebrows quirked up in response to that.

"And?" said Hermione anxiously.

"Oh, right," said Harry. "Well, he said that it wasn't on with her anymore."

"I thought sure it was her," said Hermione, sounding a little frustrated.

Remus made a gesture of continuation with his hand. "Sure what was who?"

"The night of his party he told me he was in love," she replied before taking a sip of her tea. "Apparently he hasn't told whoever she is and he seemed pretty upset about it."

Remus wiped the quick, surprised smile away before either of his companions noticed.

Hermione pulled back the sleeve on her robes and glanced at her watch. "Merlin's beard!" she exclaimed. "I'm supposed to meet with a research colleague. We'll continue this later, yeah?"

Harry watched the retreating back of his best friend with a puzzled expression. "The only witch he's spent anytime with recently is…" Harry came to a full stop.

"Took you long enough," said Remus, rather smug.

~o~

"Look, Moony," said Sirius. "She lost the cottage in Hogsmeade. Why are you making such a big deal about this?"

"Big deal?" asked Remus carefully.

"I offered her a place to stay, she accepted and that's that, alright!" Sirius knocked back a shot of whiskey and then wiped a bit of sweat from his brow.

"That's, that," repeated Remus. "Alright."

"Fuck, Mooney!" bellowed Sirius. "What is it with the twenty questions?"

Remus lips twitched as he watched his considerably more animated of late friend storm from the room.

~o~

"You really think it's her?" asked Harry.

"Look at the facts," replied Ginny. "Sirius comes back from New Guinea a bigger basket case than when he left, then Hermione's money runs out, he gives her free lodging and moves her in and now he's suddenly calm again, normal even. It has to be her."

"You really think it's her?" asked Harry, again.

Ginny rolled her eyes and patted his hand. "I'd get used to the idea if I were you."

~o~

Evening closed softly over number twelve, Grimmauld Place and per usual, Sirius had made an excuse to join Hermione in the drawing room where they sipped tea and read from their chosen material; Sirius pondering over an article in Transfiguration Today and Hermione quietly sighing over a handsome leading man.

When Sirius stretched out on the couch, placing a pillow behind his head, Hermione's gaze crept over the top of her book to take him in. Long legs encased in tight blue jeans, his feet poked out the bottom and he was wiggling his toes. With a quiet sigh, her eyes trailed up to his form fitting grey T-shirt with 'Property of Gryffindor Lions' emblazoned on the front. Well muscled arms covered in soft, black hair poked out of the short sleeves, leading to strong hands with long, careful fingers which curled around the pages of his magazine.

When a finger turned a page, Hermione caught herself gawking at him. Refusing to draw comparisons between Sirius and the broody, raven haired protagonist in her Muggle romance novel, she shook her head to clear it of the less than entirely respectful thoughts. Excusing herself to bed, she stood up to leave Sirius in the drawing room, giving him no clues to her current leanings where he was concerned. Whoever had captured his heart was a lucky lady in her opinion and she assumed it must be going passably well as his mood lately was slightly improved.

"How are things going with your lady love?" she asked, paused by the door which led out of the drawing room.

"Oh, you know, I catch her ogling me from time to time but I haven't made my move yet," he replied. She couldn't quite place why the look in his eyes made her feel slightly anxious, warm even.

"I'm glad to hear she appreciates you, too," she said softly, turning away as cold wave of disappointment washed over her.

"I'm not sure if she is ready to hear of my feelings for her," he confessed. "I'm afraid she'd run away and not give us a chance."

"That's silly, Sirius," replied Hermione. "Just tell her how you feel."

"I will. Sleep well, Hermione."

Something in his tone sounded vaguely amused but the smile on his face was content somehow, genuine and pleased. With her book clutched in her hand she climbed the stairs, thinking of the leading man in her novel who now bore an uncanny resemblance to Sirius.

~o~

Poised at the pool table, bent over and deliberately giving Hermione a choice view of his derriere, Sirius took a sly look at her from over the arm that was tensed to knock the eight ball into a corner pocket. He could tell she was second guessing her motivations for coming, which he assumed were wrapped up in having proximity to him. While he hadn't planned on setting out to win her, believing the witch to be too far out of his league to even hope for, he still chuckled over the powerful motivating factor that was jealousy.

Somehow, he had charmed her into his interest by mentioning he was in love with someone, a someone she didn't realize was in fact herself.

Years spent in a cell in Azkaban had afforded him an attribute he didn't come by honestly; patience and the ability to wait a situation out.

Now looking at her, sitting alone at a table in a Muggle billiard room while her friends all enjoyed themselves, he decided to reward her with a little of that proximity she was after.

With a practiced move that he thankfully hadn't lost from his younger days, he knocked the black ball into the chosen corner pocket, rolling it in with a heavy thunk and gave his godson an infuriatingly smug look over having beaten him, again.

Still laughing while twirling the long piece of polished wood in his fingers, he practically pranced over to Hermione's table and fell heavily into a chair opposite hers with a careless grace.

"You look like you're having a marvelous time," he said sarcastically.

"I don't know how to play," she said honestly, with a wistful look at her friends. Physical activities had never come easily to her.

"May I offer my services as an instructor?" he asked while holding the wood out for her to take.

"You don't mind?" she replied eagerly, but didn't wait for his answer to curl her fingers around the long shaft.

Sirius brushed a finger over her knuckles as they exchanged ownership. "Course not!" he answered, thinking privately that she was lovely when she blushed.

Ten minutes later he was rethinking the wisdom of this plan while simultaneously praising its brilliance. He was standing behind her, flush against her body which was soft and small and warm and _oh, god_, wonderful and torturous and agonizing. He could feel her tremble and knew it had nothing to do with fear which tempted him further. If they were alone in this bar there would be nothing at all to stop him from spinning her around and kissing her senseless.

Sirius swallowed.

_May as well lay it on thick as long as I've got her here._

His arms wrapped around her from behind, gently guiding her posture and finger positioning. He kept his voice deliberately low and soft, the scent of her hair invading his senses as he spoke in her ear so he could arouse her with the feel of his warm breath. Teaching her how to break the triangular cluster of balls on the felt green table was, in his opinion, a brilliant piece of seduction.

Hermione gave a weak thrust and Sirius laughed softly in her hair, praising the effort if not the skill.

Sirius wasn't the only one impressed with his gentle seduction. Ginny tipped her drink to him when she caught his eye before turning to her husband to whisper something in his ear.

Thirty minutes later, after helping her sink all the balls and letting her take full credit, a flushed and glowing Hermione excused herself to the loo.

"Subtle, Padfoot," remarked Remus sarcastically, as he sidled up to the table.

"I'd say so since she hasn't a clue," replied Sirius snarkily.

Hermione returned a few minutes later, much more composed with a slightly sad look to her. She didn't go near Sirius, keeping a safe distance between them and standing with Ginny and Tonks, her female friends.

"You need to be more careful," said Harry protectively, having left the girls to confront Sirius. "She's stupid for you, you know that right?"

Sirius grinned. "The feeling is mutual."

"So what are you waiting for?" asked Remus as he set up the table for a new game. "You do remember all that nonsense you said to me regarding Dora, don't you? It applies to you as well."

"The second I make my intentions clear that little lioness is turning into a rabbit and running down into her warren and the-"

Remus cut him off. "-then the chase is on, Padfoot. You do remember how to chase, yes?"

"Shut it, you," growled Sirius. "I really don't want to make her feel uncomfortable."

"You already do that," said Tonks, after learning nothing interesting from Hermione and eager to bait Sirius. "I swear, watching you teach her to play pool was like witnessing some sort of bizarre human mating display."

"Hear that, Moon?" teased Sirius playfully. "Your witch wants a little more, uh, _display_ in her life."

"Nice foreplay, Sirius," said Ginny brazenly, walking up to slip her arms around Harrys's waist.

Sirius looked up to see Hermione walking over but was still safely out of ear shot in the loud, crowded and smokey bar.

"Last time I checked that was just flirting, Ginny, maybe my godson needs a few pointers." Sirius looked away from Ginny to smile at Hermione who had just walked within hearing distance.

"Oi!" exclaimed Harry indignantly but wasn't able to properly defend himself because no one wanted to explain to Hermione what they'd been discussing. The lull in conversation was conspicuous and was the sort of thing that makes a person believe they were being gossiped about. Hermione's facial expression was one of puzzlement under which lay a slight bit of suspicion.

"Something going on?" she asked cautiously.

"Oh, we're just teasing Sirius about the witch he is chasing," said Harry, triumphantly putting Sirius on the spot, punishment for questioning his masculine prowess.

"She's here?" Hermione's words were aggressively spoken. She blushed scarlet immediately after but didn't offer an excuse.

"As a matter of fact, yes, Sirius was just being ridiculously obvious with her only a few moments ago," answered Remus with a smug grin for Sirius.

Hermione frowned for a moment. "That's odd," she said with a resigned voice that Sirius hated to hear. "I wonder if this particular pub attracts a lot of magical folk?"

"Not really," answered Tonks. "There are a few watched by the Ministry but this is not one of them."

"Oh," said Hermione, momentarily stymied. "I'd love to meet her sometime." Then added with a teasing grin. "See if she is good enough for you."

The guffaws and titters of laughter from her friends were slightly over done for the mild tease and Hermione's face held a tinge of disbelief.

"I think you'd like her," offered Ginny, giving her a friend a piercing look and then sighing impatiently when Hermione didn't catch on.

"Enough," growled Sirius dangerously, regretting it instantly as he realized by the look on Hermione's face that he may have just clarified something for her.

He watched as she looked at each of their friends in turn, none of whom looked innocent. The wheels in her brain were nearly audible to him and glances from her to him by the others were far less than subtle.

Abruptly she glanced at her watch. "It's late," she said quietly. "Thank you for the lesson, Sirius, it was lovely."

Grabbing her purse and offering swift good byes, Hermione left quickly, clearly unprepared for certain realities.

When the door to the pub closed after her, Sirius turned on his companions with a murderous glint in his eyes.

"I've suffered losing my best friend, being betrayed by another, Azkaban, that damn drapery and now that I am finally free to pursue a life the way I see fit, you lot stick your bloody chuckles in and chase the girl off. If my methods offend, don't bloody well watch," he snarled. Grabbing his jacket, Sirius swung it onto his shoulder as he exited in a foul temper.


	4. Several Months Later

_Several months later…_

"Where did you come from?" Her voice sounded thin and brittle to her ears. To calm the nervousness he was evoking in her she played with the hemmed sleeve edges on her robes, rolling the material tightly and then unfurling it, over and over, a tiny unconscious motion.

From the first moment he'd stepped into her office in New Guinea, she had felt it. The air between them had an uncomfortable edge to it and she didn't understand where it came from, it had never been there before. She felt different in his presence, not like herself, like she was transformed into something new.

His gaze seemed to strip away the comfortable layers of protective fog afforded by childhood that still lay between herself and the other 'adults' around her. She just knew he saw her clearly and that was dangerous. He was dangerous.

And when she was near him like this, alone, she felt dangerous too.

In his presence she was no longer a child, but instead thrust fully into the womanhood she hadn't bothered to claim doing her research across the globe. The simplicity of being a woman in the presence of a man was startling.

There was a caution for her in the cool grey of his eyes that she could not interpret. Comfortable in his body, graceful, strong and masculine, he reminded her remarkably of a jungle cat hunting its next meal. It was astonishing how much her insides resembled a rabbit trying to hide in tall grass.

A very dangerous little rabbit at that.

"I just want to talk to you." The slight tremble in his baritone as he stepped forward did nothing to quell the excitement that coursed through her like fear, except that it wasn't, but the thrill of it was similar.

"Oh." The quiet of the house and most especially on this third floor hallway was suddenly deafening. She could hear the rush of blood in her ears and her heart crashing against her chest as it threatened to leap out of her. "Why?"

Rocking back slightly on his hips, expression unfathomable, his eyes bored into her. She refused to meet his gaze, her fingers twirling and unfurling in a frantic effort to give her anxiety an outlet. The gas lamp closest to the stairs, the only one that was currently working, hardly gave enough light to properly observe the artwork on the wall. That seemed to be of little consequence to her as that was where her eyes were fixed, a far safer alternative to the turbulence she would find in his eyes.

"You know the answer to that."

_Oh_.

Cold and prickly in her nerves and along the surface of her skin but warm and thick like Christmas cider in her veins, his words worked their way through her, putting her rational mind at odds with her body.

"I do?"

It was a stupid question, one that fairly announced on a marquee that she was stalling, trying to get her bearings, maintain control if possible. Everything in this moment felt like it was moving forward with a speed she usually associated with violence. Resuming his slow but persistent pursuit forward, his weight shifted again as he took a step closer.

She moved a step back, away from him and toward the stairs. Not even a turn, just a backward step toward the illusion of safety.

He put his hands up, a physical illustration of peaceful intentions, a surrender of sorts and cooed to her in a deep, velvety voice that was nearly dipped in honey.

"Are you afraid of me?" The phrasing struck straight to the heart of the matter and while his voice betrayed none of his fears, the question itself betrayed all of them.

Something was happening, something that would change her, him, irrevocably and forever. They were rushing in slow motion toward a moment that would alter the fabric of their lives and yes, she was afraid of that.

He was Sirius _sodding _Black and had been pursuing her for months now. She had proved to be a nimble little rabbit and kept them off this path and kept him panting in circles around her as he tried to dodge her defenses.

Was she intimidated by the passion that his eyes, lips and body silently promised?

Without question.

But afraid of him? That he might hurt her?

"No."

Despite her declarative statement, her weight shifted and she was one step closer to the stairs.

A soft, frustrated growl slipped from somewhere deep within him, a sound surprising for how very canine it truly sounded. She almost looked up.

"Then why are you backing away?"

"Because things will never be the same and I am afraid of that." Her body finally turned as she fled down the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her.

In spite of his momentary defeat, Sirius had to smile. Chuckling softly as he lit a fag and bounced down the steps with something hopeful and lively bubbling within him.

~o~

Sirius held the invitation to Ron's welcome home party in his hands but his thoughts were far from the youngest male Weasley's return. He was daydreaming again, thinking back to their encounter in the hallway. He had forgotten what this was like; the chase. The thrill of it was invigorating and his loins burned in anticipation for an event that was inevitable. She wanted this, he knew she did. The parchment between his fingers represented another opportunity to act like he didn't know she watched his every move when they were in a group of friends.

He wasn't a wizard, or a Marauder for that matter, for nothing.

Oh, he knew alright. It was the biggest draw to these friendly get togethers. She pretty well stayed out of his way if she could help it, not that he made that an easy task for her.

He wondered what she would look like as he brought her off, over and over, flushed, sweaty and fucking gorgeous. It was a scene that ripped through his mind as he stroked himself, her name on his lips was a promise of all the delicious, wicked things he had every intention of seeing through.

He knew she felt pursued, knew she half loved and half loathed it. He suspected she second guessed moving in with him but that wasn't the last move she was going to make. Soon her knickers would share drawer space with his boxers.

Sirius shook his head. She was much too fastidious for that. He'd just keep a hold of that first pair and shove them to the back of whatever drawer space she allowed him to keep.

"James had that look on his face just before he asked Lily to marry him." Sirius almost jumped at hearing Remus' voice.

"It's not going to make me quite as long," said Sirius confidently.

"Really?" said Remus mildly. "Ron came home and has wasted no time in asking her to make room in her schedule for him."

A snarl ripped out of Sirius' chest as he rose to his feet, grabbed his black leather jacket and turned to Remus. "Where?"

"Everyone is at the Burrow," said Remus pointing at the invitation. "I came to see what was holding you up," he continued, using that same calm conversational tone. "Molly is beside herself with joy." Sirius tore through the house like a natural disaster, the sound of a vase toppling to the floor and smashing preceded the opening of the front door.

"That was underhanded," said Tonks. The walls were still shaking with the force Sirius had used to slam the front door.

"Yes," replied Remus and then grinned at his wife.

~o~

A thunderous crack preceded the pounding on the Burrow door. Arthur Weasley opened the door with a wide smile that slid off his face at the look carried by his fellow Order member. Sirius pushed past Arthur and walked straight up to Hermione who was sat on a sofa, holding hands with both Ron and Lavender in the sitting room. She looked flushed and delighted but one glance at Sirius replaced this with a look of apprehension.

The conversation in the room died, smiles fading and breaths held, as Sirius looked at the scene of three friends holding hands. Everyone was there for some sort of celebration that he vaguely remembered being invited to, although he had not paid attention to the particulars.

Nervous glances were exchanged between several Weasleys and Harry had his eyes focused on Hermione, a slight smile of encouragement for his best friend.

Sirius held his hand out to her, right there in the middle of the Weasley family and all their friends and there was absolutely no mistaking his intention. He was done with this game. If Ron wanted Hermione, Sirius wanted there to be no misunderstanding that he wanted her more. He wasn't going to let the runt come in and come between them, not when he felt their turning point was close at hand.

It was risky to present her with a 'now or never' moment, but Sirius was nothing if not a risk taker and it had just felt like the right thing to do. His ego weighed heavily into this, as it did with everything, and if she were to refuse him, here in front of everyone… suddenly his idea didn't seem quite as brilliant and he swallowed nervously.

There were some sounds coming from the kitchen, the back door opened and a new pair of voices filtered into the sitting room but Sirius' concentration was solely on Hermione.

When Remus offered his congratulations, rather loudly, on the engagement of Ron and Lavender a flicker of annoyance crossed Sirius' face but his eyes never left hers.

The little movement of her small hand giving a gentle squeeze to each of her friend's before releasing them registered in his peripheral and he sucked in a breath and held it. For the first time since their eyes had locked she looked away from him to glance at Harry, who smiled again and inclined his chin toward Sirius. A shy smile crept into her lips and her head bobbed lightly and then she looked at Sirius again. Whatever the difference in her brown eyes was, it caused a wide grin to spread across his face.

One of her hands smoothed down her skirt before she stood and slipped her hand into his outstretched one. He smiled at the feel of soft, smooth skin and gazed almost disbelieving at the tiny hand in his much larger one.

"Well, you've got me," she said quietly, her voice wavering slightly. "Now what?"

Sirius closed his fingers around her hand and pulled her to him, his smile victorious and hungry.

"Now?" he asked, his voice soft and deep, as he released her hand to draw her closer at the waist. The other hand he sunk into her thick, wild hair so he could control her head. "Now I'm going to kiss you."

Sirius ignored the clapping and the wolf whistles as he tasted his witch's lips for the first time. When she whimpered softly, a small sound of pleasure, he let that encourage him and kept going until he heard Ron grumble that this was supposed to be a celebration for himself and Lavender.

Hermione pulled back and giggled softly, giving Ron a small apologetic smile before entwining her fingers in one of Sirius' hands and gave it a tug. "Maybe we should talk?"

The cool evening gave Hermione a small shiver as she closed the door behind them. As they walked quietly into the garden, Sirius shrugged out of his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. She thanked him quietly, stopping to lean against a tree, her mouth opening and closing a few times.

"Maybe I should explain," offered Sirius, using the cold as an excuse to stand close and press against her, his words spoken softly into her ear.

"I guess we've been dancing around this for awhile," she said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry I've been so…"

"Scared?" he offered and grinned at her glare. "Why is that exactly?"

A finger traced a crease in his shirt as she considered his question. The bright half moon filtered through the leaves and branches, drawing silver patterns of light on her face as the silence began to stretch.

"Hermione?" he asked softly.

"You're just… you're so…" she sighed a moment of defeat. "I don't know when I started to feel something more than friendship for you. I didn't know what your intentions were… exactly."

He didn't buy her answer in whole. "What is that I am, Hermione?" he asked before planting small kisses on her.

"That doesn't help me think," she said wryly with a small hitch in her breath.

"Maybe you need to quit thinking," he replied, undeterred, his mouth slipping under her jaw and down her neck. "Maybe that's what you were afraid of."

"Maybe," she agreed thoughtfully, tilting her head to give his lips better access.

Sirius stopped suddenly, surprised by her easy concession. "I love you," he said softly. "I want a life with you. Do I scare you still or scare you more?"

She couldn't help but grin at his last comment. "Do you remember how rattled that creepy wizard made me when we crossed to India?"

"You said you were unused to… ahhhh… I see," he said with understanding. "Can I safely assume that you've never…" he let the trailing word suffice as a question. Hermione leaned forward to hide her face in his chest. "Don't let that make you nervous," he whispered. "I'll show you, if you let me."

All he got in response was the movement of brown curls, a suggestion of agreement. After a moment he heard a soft comment from her that he couldn't quite make out. Tilting her chin up to face him, he asked her to repeat herself.

Hermione cleared her throat. "I love you, too."

Sirius grinned before kissing her again. "I thought that's what you said."


	5. No More Pieces

_No more pieces…_

The room bearing the scratched and beaten nameplate with the engraving 'Sirius' was one she hadn't seen in years. Her eyes glanced all around, at the chandelier hanging low and then nervously at the large, luxurious bed bedecked in dark, silken jewel tones. There was also a dresser, a few low tables topped by candles and silver framed photos, a comfortable looking chair in one corner, and on the wall a few new pieces of art had replaced the posters of half naked Muggle girls and Gryffindor paraphernalia.

One piece in particular she recognized, painted by a talented young Wizard who had died in the first war, which pictured a dark figure in a tiny boat but there were no oars or sails and the craft was unmoved by the current rippling across the surface of the murky, brown water. There was traffic moving all along the river, coming into view and then leaving the borders of the frame, but the small wooden boat remained motionless and unmoved. The only occupant sat in the middle and just stared down into the bottom. The more she watched, the more she wanted him to look up, to see that he was stuck in place but he moved only slightly, his head forever cast down into the boat.

"That's me," said Sirius quietly behind her. She had all but forgotten he was there with her. "Or at least that's what I thought when I bought it. Not really where I am any longer." He touched her arm with a finger to draw her attention to him.

"This is an original," said Hermione, turning around. "That must have cost a fortune."

Sirius shrugged. "It spoke to me. I saw him staring into that boat and…" Sirius shifted his eyes from her face to the painting. "Everything around him is moving forward, moving on and I saw myself there, trying to figure out how the pieces of my life fit together." The deep, baritone which rumbled soft and low held her mesmerized by the sad tale. Long, nimble fingers pushed a button through a thin fabric slot on her robes, and then another, and then another.

"Pieces?" she asked, fighting down the nervous flutter in her belly as she watched Sirius open her robes.

"Mm," agreed Sirius, as he pushed the material off her shoulders, letting it pool into a heap at her feet, exposing her jeans and white button down. "Not really relevant to me anymore but it gave me something to think about up here."

"Why isn't it relevant?" she asked. Even though she knew where they were going, where all of this was going, she had never been here before and talking was something that she understood, a way for her to cope with the changes.

Sirius leaned in and kissed her lips softly before guiding her to the bed. "There were all these pieces of me, it seemed, it felt… I felt ripped apart when they pulled me out of…"

"Heaven," she whispered and he nodded.

"So, all of these pieces of you, how did you put them back together? What's different?"

Sirius shook his head. "I didn't," he replied. "You did."

A tender, feminine hand cupped his cheek. "Oh, Sirius," she said. "I didn't do anything special."

"Yes, you did. You held me that night and showed me more compassion than anyone had in a very long time. I've been falling for you ever since," he said, titling his head to lean in and kiss her again.

"I didn't know I meant so much," she mumbled against his mouth, eyes fluttering when he sucked on her lower lip.

"You're everything," he rasped and his fingers were working more quickly against the buttons of her shirt. As soon as he had her shirt open, his mouth was teasing a nipple through the material of her bra.

Hermione found that his earlier words about not thinking were getting easier and easier to follow. Never had she felt the thrilling build of energy in her body quite like this and it numbed some of the nervousness, pushing it aside because she just couldn't focus on it.

Sirius paused to tear his robes off and pull his shirt over his head, taking far less care with his own undressing than he was with hers. Hermione was instantly fascinated by the dark ink engraved into his skin, her fingers reaching out to touch without thinking to ask first. Sirius stilled and smiled as her fingers traced the patterns before catching herself and blushing.

"Don't be embarrassed," he murmured. "That was good, you weren't thinking at all. I don't want you to be afraid to touch me."

The blush stayed, but Hermione boldly continued her exploration of his chest. She even ran a thumb across a nipple just to see what his reaction would be. The rose colored skin pebbled under her touch as he hissed softly.

The unbuttoned shirt, hanging loose and open, was pushed off of her by large, coarse hands while she continued to caress and stroke his chest with feather light touches. She had left the tattoos behind and was now admiring his taut abdomen, her fingers delighting in the hard ripples of skin over firm muscles.

The snap on her bra was opened, the undergarment removed and then his hands explored the firm weight and peaky nipples causing her fingers to grip at him as she gasped. He captured her mouth again, hungry this time but still careful not push her too hard. While he busied her mouth, one hand remained to gently knead a breast, the other crept up her thigh to the snap on her jeans.

In a rush of nerves that felt like ice down her spine, the nervousness returned and she stilled, heat climbing high in her cheeks.

"Don't be nervous," he soothed, his voice rough. "Just think about how good I'm going to make you feel."

Hermione attempted to respond but it came out as more of a squeak. Sirius chuckled softly and grinned at her with a raised eyebrow. If this was too much, if she wasn't ready he was willing to wait but Merlin, he hoped that wasn't it.

"It's just new," she said quietly after clearing her throat. "No one has ever seen… that much of me."

Sirius leaned in and kissed her again, his tongue curling warm and wet around hers, soothing her fears by halting her thought process. Nipping lightly at her lower lip before trailing his teeth along her jaw and then down the column of her neck, he paused by her ear before continuing on.

"I love you," he growled softly, gently helping her to lay back. "Let me pleasure you, Hermione."

Hermione whimpered an eager little sound that she couldn't seem to stop herself from making.

"Glad you approve," he murmured, and she scowled at his cheeky grin.

His hands came up to push her breasts together in playful admiration, suckling each nipple until she was gasping out a hard pant.

"Love your tits," he muttered. "Fucking perfect."

A shuddering breath escaped him as he released her breasts and moved down her abdomen, leaving a trail of hot wet kisses on his way to her jeans. She was eased back against the bed now and propped up on her elbows so she could watch. From her vantage point she saw him move a hand over the bulge at his crotch to provide some relief.

"Take off your jeans," she said, and then promptly reddened at his wolfish grin. She shook her head, embarrassed at sounding so eager, no matter how much he seemed to like it. "That doesn't look very comfortable."

"Its not," he replied, but it was _her_ pants that he was most interested in. Before she could protest his condition or how he was treating himself, her button was popped open and the zip lowered. The heavy cotton material was slithered down her thighs and onto the floor with the rest of their clothes.

"Merlin, you're beautiful," he murmured, running a shaky hand through his hair. "I can hardly believe that your really here with me."

"I love you," she whispered, astonished by the awestruck way he was looking at her and feeling like maybe he needed some reassurance.

He smiled and nodded. 'I love you, too,' he mouthed, giving her a look of unmasked heat as he moved closer. She remembered her earlier fears, the fears she felt when he'd tried to corner her on the third floor. The warm press of fingers smoothing gently over her knickers cleared her mind of anything but the new sensation of someone other than herself touching so intimately.

A finger slipped under elastic at the apex of her thigh, followed by a soft curse from Sirius but his tone was pregnant with admiration.

"So wet," he groaned. "So ready for me." Hermione's hips moved with the finger that was exploring her folds, unwilling to let him get away, whining petulantly when he withdrew his hand.

The button and zip on his jeans were opened, youthful eyes filled with a new hunger, were eager to see what he'd kept under wraps thus far. The shed jeans revealed dark purple boxers with a significant tent in the front.

"Better?" she inquired, her curious eyes betraying her interest.

Sirius didn't answer at first, leaning over her knicker clad form to hook his thumbs on each side and pull them slowly off her body. Starting at her feet, his hands caressed up to her knees, sliding in between and opening her for his viewing.

"Much," he finally answered, bringing another blush because he clearly wasn't talking about his jeans.

Hermione's head fell back against the pillows when he resumed stroking her now bare pussy, teasing her clit through the coarse down and tracing her swollen outer labia. It was enough to stimulate but not to satiate and she heard herself whimpering incoherently, still too shy to ask for what she wanted.

A knee dipped into the bed, between her legs, and she felt his mouth press against her belly, leaving soft, hot kisses below her belly button.

"Tell me what you need, Hermione. I'll give you whatever you want but I want to hear you ask for it." Hermione's frustrated whimpering grew louder but that wasn't enough of an answer for him.

"You've touched yourself before, haven't you?" he asked in a voice that did wicked things to her insides. He kept stroking her pussy gently with one hand, caressing along her ribcage, down her thigh and then back up again. She nodded bashfully but couldn't quit meet his eyes. "You know what you want, come on and tell me."

"Sirius," she whined softly, shifting her hips trying to get him to penetrate with his fingers. "Please, oh please."

"Please?" he teased, moving up the bed to lie next to her side and press his body close. "Please what?"

"Please," she repeated, and turned her face into his chest.

A single finger dipped between her folds and into her slot. "This is what you want isn't it?"

The line of her back curved as she arched up and into him, hips rolling into his finger, her entire body jerking with an electric jolt as he dragged his thumb across her clit.

"Yessss…" she hissed. "Finally."

Sirius laughed softly. "That's it, baby. Always knew you'd be fucking breathtaking." He slipped a second finger in, scissoring his fingers open and closed, pushing in and pulling back out.

"More!" she demanded, hips rocking in a needful way.

Sirius drove his hand into her curls and crashed his lips against hers. A third finger joined the other two and his thumb pulsed rhythmically over her clit. Breath escaped her lips in hard pants and rough moans against his demanding mouth as he fucked her with purpose. She could feel the hard length of his cock grinding against her thigh, and some part of her brain registered that her response was driving him out of his mind.

"Come on, witch," he urged, biting her jaw, neck and collarbone. "I can feel your hot cunt twitching, you're so ready for it! Come on baby, let it go!"

Her moans were almost sobs, she was so close, so close and she couldn't quite get there. She gripped his shoulders and nearly climbed on top of him and for a moment he couldn't work his wrist. He pushed her against the bed and kneeled between her legs, flexing his wrist in time with her hips. He lowered his head to her clit and pulled it into his mouth, suckling it gently between his lips.

She didn't realize until that moment that she had been holding onto it, but it was out of her hands now. The energy burst forth, releasing hot waves of scorching pleasure, his name ripped harshly from her throat.

If she thought he was done, she was dead wrong. Her body jerked as he continued to suck her poor, oversensitive clit. When she tried to escape he pulled her back easily and gripped her hips firmly. She cried out, half in agony, half in pleasure, begging him to let her go as she twisted and struggled, thrashing against the bed.

It wasn't too long before the partial pain faded into obliterating pleasure as another orgasm began to mount, changing the tone of her begging entirely.

"Don't stop, oh god, please don't, don't, don't…fuck yes…Sirius! Oh, Sssssss…ahhhhh!"

Sirius grinned up at her from between her legs, supreme in his arrogant smugness. She laughed easily, almost wanton, and pushed playfully against his head in mild admonishment of his self satisfaction.

"Who would have thought my little bookworm would be such a wild kitty," he teased, before slithering up her body.

She pulled him closer so she could kiss him, tasting herself on his lips and making a small face in surprise.

"Little bit salty, little bit sweet, all you," he murmured against her lips, making her laugh again.

She could feel his cock, hot and hard, pushed against but not into her.

"I'm not scared anymore," she said softly. "I'm ready."

"I don't think it'll hurt," he said quietly. "Did you break the hymen yourself? There was no trace of it."

"Must have," she replied, blushing a little but nothing like before. Sirius smiled and pressed his lips against her mouth once again before standing up.

Her eyes never left him as he slid the boxers down his thighs, his cock bobbing lightly with his every move. Picking up his discarded robes he rummaged until he found his wand and sat back down.

"Contraceptive Charm," he murmured softly before performing a nonverbal spell on her abdomen. The wand was placed on a low table beside the bed before he crawled back to her, cat like and confident, covering her body with his.

"Can I touch?" she asked, eyes eager but cautious.

"Later," he requested, and at her look of disappointment he quickly added, "I promise, all you want, its just…" he swallowed. "I need you, need to feel what's like to be inside you."

Hermione blushed and nodded but the smile was pleased. She felt his hand slide between their bodies and then he pulled back, cock in hand, to find her opening.

"I want you to relax," he murmured, sliding his manhood along her slick folds. "There's nothing to break but it still might hurt a little."

Hermione nodded and focused on letting everything below the waist go slack. The blunt pressure pushed in, farther and farther, an uncomfortable feeling, just shy of actual pain.

"Merlin, you feel good," he said with a soft pant. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," she said honestly, sensing he wouldn't appreciate a lie. "Do whatever is natural for you." He nodded his understanding and began a slow rhythm, whispering how good she felt and how beautiful she was to him.

The discomfort faded quickly and soon she was rocking up to meet his gentle thrusting. They matched each other, pace for pace, their eyes never losing contact, no longer concerned about discomfort or what she could handle. She cried out to him, praising him and begging him to go harder, faster.

More than able to meet her demands, he pounded into her, the sound of sweat slick bodies slapped out a constant beat like a perverse, flesh metronome. Her legs wrapped tight around him, keeping him close and he kept a tight a grip on her thighs. It wasn't long before she felt the first stirrings of her orgasm.

"Fuck! That's it, good girl," he grunted. "Come on, honey. Come for me. I want to feel your cunt squeezing me."

Excited by his words, her body obeyed, the hard clenching of her warm, wet sleeve bringing him over with her. He thrust hard and erratic, spilling his seed deep inside as cried her name like a morning prayer.

He collapsed on her, spent and sated, heavy, but not unwelcome. Her fingers brushed the sweaty, black locks out of his face and smiled at him. Shifting a little, he slipped out, easing his weight off her much smaller body.

The didn't say anything because words weren't necessary, they just gazed into each others eyes, until hers finally drooped and her breathing changed. Sirius smiled and curled himself around her, resting his head on her stomach.

_Epilogue…_

"This is very generous of you, Sirius," said McGonagall. Curious students passed by Sirius, Hermione and the Headmistress as they watched Filch balance on a rickety ladder that was probably held together more by magic than anything else.

"Its nothing," denied Sirius. The witch standing next to him jumped nervously when he swung an arm possessively around her shoulders. She glanced nervously at her former professor, who was fighting to maintain her austere persona and not smile at the unlikely pair.

"Its not _nothing_," remarked Minerva sharply. "Benjy Fenwick was the most promising young artist of his day. This is priceless; it must have cost a small fortune."

"Do you want it or not Minnie?" asked Sirius bluntly, grinning as the older witch spluttered with indignation.

"That wasn't appropriate when you were sixteen and it is not appropriate now." Sirius just grinned with warm affection at the icy glare which could reduce Hermione to a quivering, apologetic mess. Shaking her head at the man for whom she held few illusions, turning instead to Hermione. "I had hoped you would be a good influence on him Miss…" she paused, catching herself referring to the young witch they way she would a student and not a fellow Order member. "I mean Hermione."

"Actually," interrupted Sirius. "Its me that's a good influence on her." Minerva raised an eyebrow, heavy with doubt for the veracity of that statement. He lifted Hermione's hand up so Minerva could look at it. "I'm making an honest woman of her."

Minerva raised her eyes from the ridiculously large diamond that Hermione, no doubt, had no part in selecting. "My prayers are with you."

~The End


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